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Confessions of a Sexy Girl - I Rise Up

Posted on October 10 2016

Six pounds…only 6 pounds lost on a 21 day juice cleanse. Something has to be wrong! I know people who stop drinking soda and loose 10 pounds so why when I stop eating sold food I only loose six. This doesn't make sense to me. Don’t get me wrong, I'm glad that I lost weight, but I'm disappointed it's only 6 pounds. It's discouraging. Something has to be wrong with me! If nothing is wrong with me now, it will be if I don't loose weight. The physical weight has left such a mental weight on my shoulders. It's affected the way I view myself, my confidence, and my motivation. I've got to find out what's really going on and why my body is working against me. I've decided to make an appointment with my doctor to see what, if anything, is wrong with me.

A week later as I sit in the doctors office, I'm secretly hoping the doctor would discover some type of condition that stunts my weight loss efforts. I've answered all her questions, gotten measured and weighed, had my blood tested and now I'm impatiently waiting for results. When I finally get the call from the doctor’s office a few days later, I was floored with the results. According to my test results, I am 100% healthy. WTF?!? Can you imagine wanting to cuss out the nicest doctor ever, for telling you you're healthy? Sounds crazy but that is exactly what I want to do. The most horrible thoughts are flashing through my mind as she is telling me I have no medical issues or potential medical issues and she is pleased with my 6 pound weight loss. She's smiling as she delivers the news, I can hear her smile. I wonder if she can hear the anger in my voice?

How can this be? If I’m so healthy why can’t I loose weight? I'm disappointed and I want to eat everything in the house. I'm an emotional eater and I have no desire to fight it today. However, my guy who has seen my weight fluctuate, my struggle with diets, and worked out with me on many occasions has made us a healthy meal and foiled my plans to binge eat. He is supportive, optimistic and has suggested I see a nutritionist. Reluctantly I made an appointment.

My nutritionist gave me answers that my soul needed. Through her tests I learned I had a low metabolic rate so despite eating healthy I was eating more calories than my body burned. Together we created a customized eating plan and she was adamant about eating carbohydrates with every meal. We also created an exercise regimen that fit into my busy schedule. She told me to let go of everything I learned about diets and trust her process. I have major doubts. I have little faith this will work and I'm afraid that if it didn’t I will be out of options.

It is with great relief and a new found love of food I can say I have lost nearly 10 pounds in a month. Watching the numbers on the scale decrease has been such a relief. A weight (pun intended) has been lifted from me physically and mentally. For the first time I believe I can do this. I can loose weight.

Lesson Learned - Fall down 7 times stand up 8. You may have failed at all of the things you’ve tried in the past but keep going until you find what works for you. Don’t look at it as failure, look at it a discovering what doesn’t work. It’s a discouraging process but the relief that comes at the end is pure joy.

Reminds me of the Andra Day song, "Rise Up".

"You're broken down and tired
Of living life on a merry-go-round
And you can't find the fighter
But I see it in you so we gonna walk it out
And I'll rise up
I'll rise like the day
I'll rise up
I'll rise unafraid
I'll rise up"



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