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Mental Masturbation

Posted on November 01 2016

Making love to your mind. That sounds so damn good. Do you know how to stimulate your mind? Mental masturbation focuses on thoughts that flow through your mind. It includes techniques that replace the noise from outside with your inside voice; allowing you to be present and stimulated by your own thoughts.

What's the first thing you do when you wake in the morning? Do you reach for your phone, read your texts, check for missed calls, or worst scroll through the latest social media posts. Filling your thoughts with the voices of others instead of focusing on your inner voice is an immediate turn off. Instead of reaching for your phone, try starting off the morning and going through the day practicing one, or all, of these techniques to make love your mind and lead to more pleasure in your life.


Every day that you are alive is a day to be thankful. We move through the world so quickly that we don't notice or appreciate the small things, which really are big things, like life itself. People that practice gratitude have been found to be less stressed, have more positive emotions, sleep better, have stronger immune systems and have better sex (need I say more). 

Start your daily practice of gratitude by waking and saying thank you. The simple act of acknowledging and being thankful you are alive allows you to be present in the moment. Take it a step further by finding 2 - 3 things throughout your day to be grateful for and jot them down in a journal. It doesn't matter how small or silly it may be. When I say you can be thankful for anything, I really mean anything. Some things I've been thankful range from a cool breeze on a hot day, a pair of clean underwear (have I mentioned I hate washing clothes), a subtle touch on the small of my back from my guy and when my little ones show appreciation by saying, "Thanks, mom."  Try to be specific as possible so you train your brain to seek and appreciate the moments in life that are worth remembering. You can spice up your gratitude practice by sharing what you were thankful for with your partner. It's a great way to discover intimate moments in their day and share your special moments with them. Oh, and did I mention intimacy can be a form of mental masturbation for you and your partner? Yeah, that's definitely something to be grateful for.  


The world is waiting to fill your mind with all the belief that you are not worthy and you need to change. You are constantly being fed with messages that you are not pretty enough, smart enough, too big or too small. Messages that make you feel like you've lost your mojo are a big turn off. Enough is enough...Create a relationship with yourself that is unconditional and unapologetic. Offer yourself to yourself by creating mantras that turn you on. A few of my favorites:
I am enough and I am worthy.
My feminine power is infinite.
I allow myself to be myself.
My beauty is limitless.
I don't have to be a good girl.
I love myself, I don't need you to.
Pleasure is a daily practice.
No is a complete sentence.
It's about the journey, not the destination.
I appreciate my sexual power.
I am not afraid of love.


It's hard not to be distracted by the ever growing to do list. However, instead of feeling like your on a never ending race to the finish line try a different approach. Set your intention for the day by selecting one way to honor yourself before the end of the day. It must be something for your mental, physical or spiritual wellness. Then make a list of other tasks you need to do for the day. Make sure you don't fill the list up with so many tasks you overwhelm yourself (1 - 3 items and no more than 5 items depending on how long each will take). Challenge yourself to honor yourself before your begin completing the list tasks you've created. One you've done something for you, make each day a game to see if you can win each day by completing your list. If you have a day that you didn't win, don't stress it just try again the next day. Make it more fun by rewarding yourself for your wins. If you win you day for 7 days straight treat yourself to something small like a manicure. If you win for 30 days treat yourself to date night with your guy, a girls night out, or go someplace you've wanted to go by you damn self (it's okay to enjoy your own company).  Also, don't forget to add in rest days. Rest is an essential, often overlooked, part of self love.

If you find it difficult to implement these tips in the morning push back your alarm clock 5 - 10 minutes to allow yourself time to express gratitude, repeat a few mantras and set your intentions for the day. If you don't remember to do it in the morning, take a few moments to do it before bed. You can also make your wake up alarm a song that sets the mood for the day. My personal fave is Rise by Solange

Remember...caring for yourself is mandatory not optional. A little makeover in your mind and you'll feel so desirable, you'll want to date yourself. And never forget the most powerful thing any woman can do is love herself.

Which mantra is your favorite? Do you have any to add? Let me know in the comments.


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